Furniture update

It appears that we have found the crib! Yesterday I drove all the way to Quail springs because the lady at Norman assured me they had 5 in stock. The rather surly teenage girl informed me there were none available. I asked her to go look for the dresser and she did manage to find that, just not the crib. Then, everywhere I called today assured me that Quail springs should have some in stock - the computer was showing them still.

Darrell called and spoke to a manager at Quail Springs who managed to find 3 of them hiding in the stock room. Huh. Go figure. Anyway, we've got one on hold and I'm picking it up tomorrow. Yay! We'll have the whole set.

Next we'll need to pick up the bedding set and start painting. I feel kind of energized just thinking about it.

I think if I was 'nesting' my house would be cleaner so I'm pretty sure that's not it. Not yet anyway. I'm just incredibly excited.

Ultrasound Pictures

Below is the picture that Darrell is most proud of. The view is looking directly at the butt. Two little folded up legs on either side, and right beneath the little arrow you'll see the little appendage. Yup, those are the goods.

This is my favorite. A little tiny hand with five perfect fingers. It's kind of hard to see where the rest of the baby is. I think he's kind of in the fetal position with the hand near his face, but I'm no expert. I just know that he's mine, and that little hand makes the fact even more real.

A perfect spine shot. Baby is face down, and his spine is the horizontal snake looking thing.

He's looking right at you in this picture. (If you imagine a skull it kind of helps.) Darrell says he looks like me here. LOL

This is the little butt, the white lines are his femurs (lower leg bones) so we can tell he has his legs folded up. (The better to kick mommy with...)

So, the verdict is that everything is good. As far as we can tell, Baby Bean has all the right parts and they're all put together correctly.

My weight at the appointment was 146, which I'm not totally happy with but it's not completely out of the normal range either. I need to watch my nutrition a little better in the coming weeks.

Furniture Fiasco

Like I wrote in my last post, we found a crib set that we love on sale at Target. It's a sleigh style crib with a cherry finish.

So far we've found the changing table and the dresser (which, ironically, I can't find pictures of online) but no crib in stock anywhere. We bought them anyway and are now haunting the target stores for the crib! Darrell has picked out the crib set, I think so we should be set to buy paint and start getting everything set up soon.

Ethan

There is so much I'd like to talk about, things have been swirling around in my head all weekend but unfortunately I haven't had much computer time. The weekend is going fabulously, and tomorrow we're heading home. I'll try to put up a little trip post later.

I wandered around a gift shop at Six Flags over Texas and found a little personalized sippy cup with "Ethan" on it. We've chosen the name Ethan Joseph for the newest little Hafer. Ethan because we like it, and Joseph after Darrell's uncle Joe. It's kind of amazing the change that's come over the whole baby thing now. We say "him" instead of it, and we even refer to my belly as Ethan. The girls are comfortable coming up and patting my stomach and 'talking' to Ethan. It's very cute.

I was never really sure what to think about they hype regarding ultrasounds and bonding but I definitely think that I've "bonded" with our little one this weekend more than anything so far. It's becoming more and more exciting to imagine meeting this little guy. Will he look like Darrell, or more like me? Blue eyes or green? Fair skin or dark? What will his personality and disposition be like.

It seems like I'm growing bigger daily. Darrell has noticed it too and said something to that effect tonight. That was after he took me to target and bought me two really cute shorts outfits and a pair of dress pants. It was a birthday present, and really the best ever. It's hard to explain how looking nice instead of frumpy and stretching out of clothes that don't fit makes my self esteem shoot up. It shouldn't be so, but girls are kind of hung up on how they look, and how I look greatly affects how I feel.

It's the best feeling ever to be spoiled by such a great man :)

Also at Target we found out that the crib we've been looking at is on sale for $50 less, and the matching changing table too. Today was the last day of the sale so we decided to buy it and attempt to drag it back to Oklahoma with the kids in the 4Runner. Thankfully the changing table was out of stock, and the nice lady gave us rain checks for BOTH pieces so we can still get the sale price when we get home. I'm so excited because it's the piece we wanted in the cherry finish. Darrell is busy picking out the bedding set/theme. I'm going to basically give it over to him as long as he picks something I like. Hehe.

Darrell wants to do some writing so I'll give this up, at least until tomorrow night.

:)

XY

In Maddy's excited words: "awwww, Daddy's miracle came true!"

Yes, people. It's a boy. I can't describe the thrill of joy that ran through me hearing the doctor say that and then Darrell's excited cheer.

It's way to late and I'm way too tired to post more. I'll try to get it more up tomorrow night from the hotel.

I am so happy!

roller coaster

Wow, my emotions are so intense right now. I wouldn't have imagined it like this.

I keep thinking about how I'll post my update if it is a boy, or if it's a girl. And then I let my mind wander to what that moment in the room is going to be like when the doctor says "it's a..."

Amazing how wrapped up I am in that little detail. I've been thinking about it quite a bit for weeks, but suddenly today it's ALL I can think about. I have such mixed emotions about the whole thing.

Right now, in my daydreams she keeps saying, "it's a boy!" and I'm picturing how overjoyed we'll all be. And then I think, what if it's not a boy? What if it's a girl? I'll still be ecstatic, but I'll be sad for Darrell. I won't want to overdo the excitement then... and how fair is that? We've built up the desire for a boy so much that when I call/message people to let them know I'm afraid someone is going to respond with "awww... I'm sorry." And right now the thought of that is just unbearable. How could we say that about such a miracle?

this is it....

Who remembers Hermie from the Saturday Morning kids radio programs?  I know my sisters know what I'm talking about.

 

Today is the day!  I just know it!!

 

I'm afraid the day is going to drag until I leave work at 3.  Also the appointment is at 3:45 and they're squeezing me in, so that means we'll probably be waiting.  I wouldn't be suprised if it was an hour or more.  Hopefully Darrell won't be late for his class! 

 

The bean appears to be a bit of a 'morning person.'  The past two days I've been out of bed at 5:20 and at work by 6:30.  I've noticed that both mornings he's been incredibly active.  I've been reading that by 21 weeks the baby is waking and sleeping on a schedule of sorts, so I'm beginning to think he's waking up earlier than me.  This would perfectly explain why I have rarely felt a great deal of movement after about 6 p.m.

 

On a somewhat related note, if baby is on a schedule, I wonder if anyone has ever tried monitoring that schedule while in the womb and then trying to mimick it after birth?  Seems like that would be a reasonable thing to do, though rarely convenient.  We all want to get the baby on a 'grown-up' schedule almost as soon as he comes out of the oven.

 

Just early morning musings.

I just realized that so far, Darrell has been able to make it to every baby related appointment I've had. Even the routine ones that nothing new was going on with, he came along. Even if he's not able to do it throughout the pregnancy, I think it's worth quite a bit. I love having him with me. I see lots of women coming in alone, and that's fine, but it makes me feel extra special.

Nice Quote about Mothering

It is with great pleasure that I see at last the Preservation of Children become the Care of men of Sense. In my opinion this business has been too long finally left to the management of women, who cannot be supposed to have a proper knowledge to fit them for the Task.
Cadogan,Essay (for Nurses), London Foundling Hospital, 1756

Haha. *shaking head* hahahaha!

It's from this article about the History of Breastfeeding - A very interesting read about the progression from breastfeeding to formula and back again as the recommended model. I think I may post more tidbits from it later.

I have breastfeeding on the brain pretty heavily today, partly because I picked up The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding at the library yesterday and the girls started leafing through it. They were a little grossed out, and thought it was weird when I explained to them. Then they brought it up again to Darrell last night. He's in support of breastfeeding but it's not something he's been around at all before so unfortunately it kind of grosses him out too ... and he thinks extended breastfeeding is weird. I'm not that worried about it right now as I think that once the baby is here thing will be fine, but it's kind of prompted me to do more reading and thinking. Thats's just what I do.

T minus two days

I'm getting more excited. The day after tomorrow we should finally know the end of this mystery.

I was talking to a friend last night and we were discussing the merits of the suprise baby, where you don't find out what it is until it's made it's grand appearance. I really can see both. Getting to meet your little bundle and find out out EVERYTHING about him or her right there at once would be kind of cool. I used to think I'd be one of those who preferred not to find out. But now that this little guy or girl is bumping around in there, I'm eager to find out whatever I can about him/her. And having a gender seems like it will make it that much more 'real.'

Not that I would do the ultrasound only for the gender. Since I declined the screening tests for downs, spina bifida etc. I feel like it's a good idea to have this done. (I think I may be repeating myself from a prior post but oh well.) To be clear, no defects or abnormalities would change our wanting this child, but there are a (very few) things that could change our birth plans. Anything like that would be picked up on the ultrasound and I feel like it's the best thing to do.

And of course, I can pick out paint and start buying things ahead of time. Sure, my little tyke could live in mostly green and yellow for the first few months but why when it's so much more fun to have blue and pink?

C-Section Rates in Oklahoma

So, it appears that the c-section rate in Oklahoma is high, but still not as high as Ann suggested.  She may be right about area hospitals, that I can't figure out for sure without calling and I kind of doubt I'd get the truth either way.  Anway, in the county my sister is delivering in, it's 34% (all stats are of live births only) In the county I'm delivering in, it's about 31%.  In the state, it's 33.8%

 

I find those rates disturbing even though it's now much closer to the national average.  About 5 years ago there was a report stating Oklahoma was well above the national average.  Now we're just par.

 

Thanks to a cafemom member who found and shared this link with me:  http://www.ok.gov/health/pub/wrapper/ok2share.html  All kinds of Oklahoma statistics can be found here.  Very cool

Monday update

The Bean seemed quieter this weekend for the most part but I've noticed him bumping around quite a bit today. I think I notice it more when I'm sitting still, but also I tend to sit a little more "squished up" at work, either leaning forward, or with my legs folded up in my chair. The activity seems to be lasting longer and longer, and is getting easier to feel from the outside. Darrell still hasn't gotten to feel it. I keep waiting for an opportunity but it hasn't come.

Three more days until our ultrasound. My fear is that this little spawn will be ornery and not let us see the important stuff. I used to think a mystery baby was a great idea, but no longer. I want to buy paint and baby stuff, and finish picking out our names. We have a boy name, but the middle name is more certain than the first. We have a girl first name but still no middle name that we can agree on. Once we know I don't think it will be hard to agree.

Finding out the gender is the "big" thing, but I'm also interested to confirm that everything is where it's supposed to be and our baby is healthy and normal. Not that I doubt he will be, I'm just anxious to 'see' that for myself.

Darrell and I got to see "Get Smart" with friends on Friday while the girls were at a sleepover. It was funny and cute but not spectacular. Saturday we cleaned quite a bit, though the house doesn't seem to look any better now. Sunday was mostly just being lazy, and Maddy and I baked some cookies. She made cupcakes all by herself but I forgot to take a picture. I'll try to remember tonight.

My back is giving me more and more trouble, I've got to try to make it to the chiropractor this week otherwise I'm afraid I'll be miserable all through the weekend. Last night my left hip joint cramped up and I had a hard time even walking around. It was miserable, and I'm not really sure what was causing it. Seems to be somewhat better today, but I can't really find a comfortable position.

There is chili in the crock pot. I can't wait to get home and make some cornbread to go with it. I know Chili is more a winter meal, but it sounds so good right now.

Ann

This morning Darrell and I dropped the girls off at camp and headed up to my appointment at OU medical center.  It didn't take long to get in to meet with Ann once I had all the paper work filled out. 

 

The Midwife

Ann is probably in her early 50s (I'll ask Darrell if he agrees), with short grey hair.  She's not noticeably short or tall; about average build and weight.  She was wearing sandals, an ankle-length flower pattern skirt and a pink shirt.  Dangle earings and some sort of beaded necklace added to the "classy but slightly hippie" look. 

 

By the first few words out of her mouth I knew that she thinks about birth much the same way I do.  I think she even said "this is a normal process and we don't want to interfere with it."  I forgot a few of the things I planned to ask her, but regardless I think I'm going to be very happy with her.  I was impressed that she asked me if I had considered home birth as though she would totally in favor of it if I was considering it.  We don't want a homebirth, but since I think they're great, I did like the fact that she was positive about it. 

 

Ann assured me that the hospital staff will do exactly what their instructions say so I don't have to worry about agreeing with her about something and then having the nurses give me a hard time.  I don't have to have an IV, or even a heplock, and I won't be poked and prodded and expected to have the baby on their "clock" and I won't have people trying to control what I do.  Instead of having to ask if I could move around, eat and drink during labor she said, "You will pretty much be expected to be moving around, changing positions and being active in labor.  You'll be expected to eat and drink throughout labor."  I loved the way she made it sound like it would be MY birth, she'd simply be attending and I wouldn't have to ask permission to have it the way I wanted it.  She even said I could labor and give birth in the bath tub if I so desired.  

 

It sounded like the only thing that she 'requires' is 15 minutes per hour of fetal heart rate monitoring, which is done with a monitor that's not attached to anything so I wouldn't have to lay down or be still during that time, I could continue to move around and do essentially whatever I wanted.

 

Since Ann is a Certified Nurse Midwife, she works in a practice of 10 physicians and 4 other midwives.  She will be my primary care provider and attend my birth.  In the event that there are any major complications that require a physician's guidance or intervention, there is always one of the OBs on duty at the hospital.  When I asked how often she had to transfer care to a physician she just shook her head.  Rarely if ever.

 

I was also thrilled to hear that the c-section rate in the normal L & D section is about 4% or less (high risk section 29%).  She estimated the other hospitals in the area to be about 50% in general, which could be an exaggeration but even if it is... sheesh!  I'm not suprised, but it's appalling really.

 

I love the fact that she appears to be approaching birth as "no big deal" until something happens to prove otherwise.  I got the opposite impression from my OB, who seems to approach it as an emergency waiting to happen, thus we must take this precaution and that precaution "just in case.

 

The Hospital

After meeting with Ann, she sent us over to the hospital to find Mindy and see the birthing floor.  I was a little disappointed in the birthing rooms just due to the fact that I've seen much nicer ones.  They're nothing fancy, just a bed, TV and DVD player, plush chair and couch plus some monitors and an exam table for baby with some equipment.  The couch has removable pillows so it makes a bed of sorts that someone could nap on if needed.  The bathroom was just like a full sized home bathroom, with a tub/shower, sink and toilet.  I hate teeny hospital bathrooms so that's great.

 

The part Darrell was really disappointed about is that shortly after delivery, they move the mother and baby upstairs to a recovery room.  I agree with him, that's pretty lousy.  I'd like to stay in the same room for labor, delivery and recovery - even at the risk of being disturbed by alaboring mother in another room  :)  We didn't see the recovery rooms as they were on another floor... Mindy said they were about half the size of the birthing suites.  Really though, I hope not to stay very long after the birth so I could care less where they put me.  I know I'll rest better at home so my goal will be getting back there ASAP.

 

OU Medical center no longer has a nursery for healthy babies, so the baby will essentially stay in the room with me the whole time.  That I do like.  No chance of some nurse taking it upon herself to give my little tyke formula and messing up my breastfeeding!  Darrell said I would need some rest, but I figure I'll still get some... he can do some father/baby bonding and let me sleep.

 

In all I think it was a successful appointment.  I'm still keeping my appointment with my doctor on Thursday for the ultrasound, and then I'll get all the records and the insurance transferred over.  I'm very excited!

 

Today

The Bean is doing more bumping around off and on right now.  Sometimes it's harder than others, but I definitely felt a few little kicks from the outside.  Now, if only he would move at home so Darrell could feel it :)  I'm going around in this weird state of euphoria lately, just overwhelmed at this whole miracle of life thing.  I can't explain it, because I've heard other pregnant ladies try to describe it and I really didn't get it until now.

 

Because the girls have swimming lessons in the evenings right now, I'm not going to be able to go to the chiropractor this week like I was supposed to.  It's a shame because my right hip/lower back is really giving me trouble.  If I try to lean forward while standing and all the weight goes onto the right leg, it hurts a great deal and I feel like it's going to give way.  Hopefully I can make it up there next week, but it's not going to be convenient.  Maybe on Wednesday.

 

Darrell's uncle Joe is coming Wednesday and we're heading out of town for a little weekend trip on Friday.  We're going to go to Arlington (the Dallas area) and go to a Rangers baseball game, Medieval Times dinner theater and Six Flags and Hurricaine Harbor.  I'm looking forward to the shows and Hurricaine Harbor, but not so much Six Flags.  Since I can't ride any rides I'm just going to be walking around the park.  Oh well... at least it's exercise, but I hope the weather doesn't get too hot. 

 

I've got to go to Old Navy or somewhere and find a pair of shorts before we leave.  Darrell is awesome and bought me a couple of pairs of dress pants and some long shorts, but for this trip I'm at least going to need one more pair.  Soon I'll have to get serious about maternity clothes, it's just hard to justify spending money on clothes I'll only get to wear for a few months!

The Baby Bump

I took some earlier belly pictures but honestly I just looked fat in those. Here is a picture from last week. The bean finally has a bump to prove his (or her) existence.

18 Weeks

Breakfast

Just something random I realized this morning...

I didn't used to need breakfast. I was a take it or leave it kind of person, with leaving it being the norm. The Bean has changed all that. Now I don't just want breakfast, I need it. I must have it at any cost. It can be small or large but it must be part of my day or I'll get rather woozy and begin to feel ill. Making time for breakfast has become a small price to pay for staying on top of my game.

He/she just "bumped" me from the inside a couple of times while I was writing this. He must know I'm 'talking' about him. It really is the coolest feeling in the world.

Marie

I've been looking around for some good childbirth classes to go to and got in contact with a lady named Marie today. We had a great talk. It turns out, she teaches and is a doula at OU Medical canter, and I already have an appointment there with a midwife on Friday. (I have a few differences with my current OB and I just don't feel completely comfortable with her so I'm looking at other options.) Talking with her was really encouraging and I really think that I'll end up going to OU Medical center. I think I'll know for sure on Friday though.

Movement!!

3:15 PM

I'm at work, sitting forward in my chair and minding my own business when I feel something. The only way I can describe it is perhaps like there was a little bubble up against my skin (from the inside) and it popped. A second later, I feel it again, only stronger and much more like something inside poking me. And then there is this little tiny explosion of bouncing around in there. It lasted about 30 seconds...about as long as it took to send Darrell an e-mail since I'd just gotten off the phone with him and I knew he was leaving his desk.

And now... nothing.

That was the first time I felt anything confirmed. I've felt things and wondered if they might have been a flutter of movement. Even now I can only say that maybe they were, maybe they weren't but today was the real thing. Honestly I've read so many things online from women pregnant about the same time as me, and even most of the first timers say they've been feeling movements for a while now. I wasn't really worried, but definitely wondering if I didn't know what I was supposed to be waiting for. Ha! Now I know.

And all is well in the world of Baby Hafer today :)

The beginning

These are the diaries of one, Baby Hafer. This yet unnamed child of ours who deserves to have his life chronicled simply because.

I am 19 weeks 2 days pregnant. I'll try come back to the beginning and make a list of the events starting from the beginning.

Okay...

Since this journal is a little late beginning, I'll list the milestones in order:

March 1 - After nearly 8 months of negatives, I got up early on Saturday to take a pregnancy test. It was several days early but I didn't want to wait. I could never wait. I was so shocked to see the very faint pink line that I didn't even say anything to Darrell for a couple of hours - I wasn't sure how to approach it. We went to the track and on the way home he asked me when I was supposed to take a test. I told him about the positive, and he was in disbelief as well. It took two more home tests and a blood test from the doctor on Monday to really convince us. We were pregnant!

The Test...it's kind of dark but you can see the faint double lines:

March 31 - My first doctor's appointment at almost exactly 8 weeks pregnant. An internal ultrasound clearly showed our little Bean growing, alive and well.

Weight - 130 lbs

April 28th - 12 Week appointment.

We heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. It was 164 bpm.

May 30th - 16 week appointment

Another standard visit, all vitals good. Baby's heartbeat 154 bpm. We set the appointment for the anatomical ultrasound for June 26th @ 3:45 pm This is what Darrell has been waiting for. Will we get a son, or a daughter?