Still here...

Okay. I have posted very little lately, and there is a reason for that. I've been feeling incredibly negative and I didn't want to ralph that negativity all over blogland. It's not that I don't still enjoy being pregnant. I do. But mostly only in those isolated moments where my ribs are not throbbing unbearably and/or I'm not so tired I can barely function. I feel like all I do lately is sleep, go to work, sleep, complain, sleep, eat, complain some more, and sleep. I'm sure Darrell feels that way. Poor guy, we hardly see each other during the week anyway, and now I can barely stay awake until he gets home each night -- I'm off to bed almost as soon as he makes it in the door.

Really, it's not all that bad but I am sleeping a lot, and part of that has to do with the fact that it's generally painful to be upright because of my ribs. Lying down is much more comfortable.

On top of the general end of pregnancy stuff, I found out this week that contrary to what I was told earlier, my company has a lousy maternity leave policy. I pay for short term disability which allows me to draw a small paycheck while I'm off, but no one informed me that it only actually pays for 5 weeks for a total of 6 weeks off (one week I have to use my accrued leave for.) I could take off longer but it would be unpaid. I was never told that, even though I sat down with the HR rep and grilled her on the maternity leave policies. Blech.
So now I'm wracking my brain trying to figure out how I can eek out another week or two off. We'll see what happens, I guess.

I think it's important that I have a chance to get breastfeeding well established and settle into a routine with baby before I have to head back to work. Most experts suggest 6-8 weeks to do this, and I don't want to feel too rushed. It's going to be tough enough leaving him as it is, even though I think I really like the daycare provider that we found. Her name is Amanda and she literally lives around the corner from us. I wish it was closer to work, but honestly I don't work far from home - It's all of 8 miles or so, thus I would be able to get there quickly in case of a need, but it's still not close enough to drop in and check on him or run home at lunch and feed the baby or anything like that.

Yesterday at work Ethan got a little suprise party. A couple of the ladies in the office organized it all... they took a collection and bought a cake, a few decorations and a couple of gifts. It was very nice and made me feel special -- and incredibly embarassed when I walked into a room full of people all looking at me and grinning. I hope I was gracious... I was in a little bit of shock :)

Tomorrow I have an appointment with Ann... it's been three weeks since the last one because of some scheduling issues with her - I guess she was out of town. After this I'm sure the appointments will be weekly...